Well, this one didnt originate on craigslist. As a matter of fact, it pretty much goes to testify to the amazing way things just find and happen to me.

I was sitting here last night, tired.. not sleeping.. Knew I wasnt going to sleep (and I *still* havent,) but totally bored and just didnt really know what to do. Couldnt get into Netflix.. Settled on "Pain and Gain," which really is a great movie. And based on actual events. You should check it out if you have a chance.

So, anyway, I happened to pick up my phone and it said Id missed a call a minute ago, but I didnt even hear it ring. And, I didnt recognize the number. It was a new number, so I figured it was probably meant for the old phone number's owner. But, I had talked to a couple people on CL, so it could have been someone Id given my number to but just forgotten about. So, I texted them:

Me: "Who is this?"
(540) 255-6046 : "John"
(540) 255-6046 : "Thought call u since u not on DAy time min now lol"
Me: "Well, I know a cpl johns, but this is also a new number... Who are you trying to reach? I have unlimited minutes, BTW."

..And so, on it went. And to prove I wasnt their friend, I sent a pic. I was bored, and I felt really felt playful and kind of like fucking with someone in a flirtatious way, so, I sent the pic you see above. LOL, Its also one of my all-time favortie pics and it was fun just to show it off, kinda. Ive never done anything like that before, which I told him.

He ended up getting me to call him. I made it clear I didnt do phone sex and I wasnt interested in that kind of thing. I didnt really even want to talk. I was just messing around texting a random stranger. LOL, I told him at one point to let his friend know after he hunted him down that a hottie had his old number and was visually molesting his friends. LOL. Well, I called.

He's going on and he does some IT-related shit in a more healthcare capacity and used to be a pharmacist, has two Master's, been or is in real estate, yada, yada, yada. And, of course, he wants to meet. I was trying to tell him Id meet him as long as he promised not to spend the whole time trying to fuck me, and he goes on and on about how he can go and drop a couple-hundred whenever he wants and all this on women to fuck him and Im really unimpressed. Im not sure if hes drunk or stupid or whatever and I know by this point Im not going to meet the guy, but when he gets around to it again (or, I may have interrupted his rant about hiring hookers, I really dont recall,) I restate that he has to promise not to spend the whole time trying to fuck me. Well, he goes back to the incessant rambling regarding his ability to outsource his sexual needs. And, since he wasnt listening and I was annoyed, I hung up. I wasnt upset. I didnt say anything. I just hung up. And I went back to my movie.

Well, of course, a couple minutes later I get a text:

(540) 255-6046 : "What happened? Lost u
Me: "I hung up."
(540) 255-6046 : "Why?"
(540) 255-6046 : "We were having a decent conversation, why did u hang up? What did I say or do to u?"
Me: "Because I was bored. All I was saying was I'd meet you as long as you didnt spend the whole time trying to fuck me, you kept going on about how you could go take your couple hundred and get whoever, money doesnt impress me(I'm writing a business plan to secure $47M) and if you're more interested in what money can buy vs the things it cant, you're definitely not my type. Thats all. The best thing you have going for you so far is your dbl masters. BC, I like a brain on a man."
(540) 255-6046 : "U misunderstood me
Me: "Ok: I'm willing to listen."
Me: "I apologize if I was wrong. Call me."
(540) 255-6046 : "Even though I think u have brain beauty as combo"
Me: "No.. You said it, I repeated my condition, you didnt say you would or wouldn't and went back to how you could go buy whoever, then I hung up.
(540) 255-6046 : "If I just want sex I can go buy it and don't look ugly either"
Me: "Yeah, and they'll fuck you just like they fucked the hundreds or thousands of men who were there before you."
(540) 255-6046 : "I already said that I would spend time talking and doi g thinga with u not just sex as when we in 40 or 50 those teen days gone as there is more to life than just sex"
Me: "You actually didnt elaborate on that. Do you want to move on, or rehash this another 20 minutes?"
(540) 255-6046 : "U gave me opportunities to elaboratebut I heard click n dial tone lol"
Me: "I'm sorry if I misinterpreted your meaning. It just wasnt how it came across and you weren't acknowledging the point in question."

Well, he called me. And, after all that shit over just trying to get him to say he wouldnt spend the whole time trying to fuck me if I met him for lunch, he couldnt go 30 seconds without saying something about my and my panties.

(540) 255-6046 : "If u change mind I am here,"
Me: "Lol. You dont get it because youre thinking with your dick. We just went through all that shit over me wanting to make sure if I met you you wouldnt spend the whole time trying to fuck me, and when I agree to talk to you again, you can't make it 30 seconds without talking about my fucking panties. I am sexual, but Im not easy, I'm not a slut, and I don't know you. I also made it clear before we ever talked that I didnt do phone sex. That clear things up a little?
Me: "I don't know you. Im not sexually interested in you because I dont fuck people I don't know or get sexual with ppl I don't have some kind of chemistry with. You're just another horny guy, at this point. With money. And two masters. Sorry, takes more than that to get me going and I'm not easily impressed. Anyway, good night, or whatever.

... that was pretty much the end of it. ...Or, so I thought.

(540) 255-6046 : "This is John's wife who is this?"
Me: "lol. I have the new number of some friend "gogetter" he was trying to reach."
(540) 255-6046 : "Thought John and u were trying to reach each other on side :)
(540) 255-6046 : "I seen the text u sent him pics who are u and where are u? Stay away from man"
Me: "Lol, I didnt know he was married. He doesn't listen. I thought maybe I was too harsh and I was trying to help him understand. But, I don't care. if I wanted this stress and drama in my life, I'd just get a boyfriend."
Me: "Lol, believe me, you can have him... why you'd want him is the question."
Me: "I told you. He texted me last night... If you saw the pics, you know it's true. But you're prob just him playing more stupid games, so I really don't care."
(540) 255-6046 : "So get lost and dont ever send him pics or contact him lemme enjoy my daddy he asleep now."
(540) 255-6046 : "I know bitches like u well u send pics like that to guys to seduce them then play innocent" (lol, I dont think I could pull off "playing innocent" if my life depended on it.)
Me: "Lol. Well, he says he's spending $200 on hookers and is tired of sex and looking for a real connection.. Lol. I don't think its me you have to worry about. I can't be bought, as he found out."
(540) 255-6046 : "Send pics out call/text others u slut/bitch leave my man alone"
Me: "Lol. Read the fucking texts. He's pathetic. If I was fucking him or wanted him, I'd tell you. He's stupid. The fact he left his phone laying around being married after pulling this shit proves it. Absolutely educated beyond his intelligence."
(540) 255-6046 : "Don't let me come find u"
Me: "Lol. Go nag him. I don't want him, and he's not a real man."
Me: "Lol, come find me. You don't want to bark up this tree. Fucking bitches like you getting pissed off at the woman your man hit on when you should be pissed at your man make me fucking sick. Get your shit together and have a good life. Good bye. <done>" (I am just now reading subsequent texts for the first time).
(540) 255-6046 : "Ya I saw the texts and my hubby John didnt as for your slutty black or white pics not sure why u sent to him. Save for others." (Why she thinks he didnt see them and allegedly cant tell if Im black or white, lol.. Who knows.)
(540) 255-6046 : "U say it was wrong number and u still talk to and send your black or white pics to my hubby. Doesn't that tell a lot about you and your class? U birch FU"



*Considering the public display of their phone number via caller I.D. and the fact that such information is readily available on uncountable websites, I am not exposing any personal information that he has a right to conceal, that is concealed, that he has a right to privacy to, or that would be otherwise unavailable to the public.

Sex offenders info, addresses, pictures, and charges are made a matter of public record. Well, so should philandering husbands and their neurotic wives who harass innocent women who did nothing wrong when they were under the impression they were engaging with a single of age member of the opposite sex and conducted no illegal or illicit acts. Its a public service. If you see this number on your caller I.D., I strongly advise you not to answer it. You may be verbally molested or accosted, depending on which of the two respective spouses happen to be on the other line.





I do have the entire text history on my phone if anyone needs/wants to verify the content of any text that has been transcribed.