To set the proper stage for this e-mail, you should know that Mark (EchoNext) responded to my ad, looking for software developers. (See Ad here.) The rest is self explanatory.


First e-mail:


I'm a freelance full-stack developer and graphic designer
specializing in building clean, high-end websites, mobile
applications, and online marketing campaigns.

Check out my website at EchoNext[1]

Notice how re-sizing the browser window automatically modifies the
content on the page to optimize itself for different screen sizes. As
much as half of internet users are now on a mobile device, so this is
very important to incorporate.

As a freelancer, I'm available to work directly with you without
the hassle of dealing with middlemen. My skill set includes advanced
competency with Ruby on Rails, PHP/MySQL, HTML5/CSS3, JavaScript,
WordPress, Objective-C for iOS, Java for Android, API integration,
UX/UI design, graphic design, and search engine optimization.

I have a degree in Computer Science from UC Berkeley, ten years of
working experience, and my past clients include 21st Century
Insurance, ADT Security Systems, University of Phoenix, and many
small to mid-size companies.

For the sake of giving you a general idea of my pricing, I normally
work with budgets ranging from $2-3 thousand for simple websites, to
$15-20 thousand for complex and highly-scalable applications capable
of handling millions of simultaneous users. Tons of variables
influence the price, such as the functionality required, the type of
technology used, the degree of usability testing conducted, the
number of design concepts created, and generally the amount of time
required to build your software.

If you're interested in working on a project, just get in touch
with me and we'll take it from there :)

Thanks for your consideration!

Mark Bradshaw
Echo Next Digital


Well, it sounded worth pursuing. We even had some things in common. I knew it was a blanket letter because of the feel, but also because he touched on his rates when the compensation was clearly stated in my ad. I wasnt going to assume he was stupid. I did, however, assume he was lazy. But, I responded:

Dear Mark,

Thanks for your email. Its well composed and I know its a blanket letter
for anyone of interest, but before we really start talking I need to know
if the financial arrangement mentioned in the ad would work for you.

I ask only because of the price scale mentioned in your letter, though I
would think it was not an issue since you responded to the ad.
(My offer
is for 20% of sales for the lifetime of the products. Your rates are
delightfully reasonable and if I had the money to invest I would happily do
so, but if you will up-front the talent, you will actually come out farther

I'm hammering out the details on a phone operating system that my two
games were going to be bundled with and exclusive to, but I need to
generate some cash flow. Could you handle a phone O/S? It will be paid,
of course. I'm tentatively planning on a salary during development of
$100,000/yr and will be focusing on a great work environment and
atmosphere. I think from one person I talked with I'll need about 20

Incidentally, I used to work for I loved it... It was
probably the best fit for me of all I've done w/ computers.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Rhianna Brighten Kane


LOL, well, that prompted the well thought out response from Mark of:

Of course I'm not interested.

*Mark Bradshaw *


To which, I responded:

Lol, then try reading the ads before you spam them. (Repeatedly)


(Note: The use of the word 'repeatedly' was because I did not just receive Mark's blanket letter one time, but from multiple accounts at different times).

Now, it was a couple days before I got the next email. Of course, he had sent it the same night within a couple hours, but I knew he was an idiot, nothing he said mattered, and I didnt care. But, two days later I had installed a new email client and it downloaded all my emails from the server, including Mark's.

Well, the idiot I guess thought I meant something about flagging the ad or worrying what he'd think about something with my ad and take some kind of action against it. This is completely stupid, but I can only draw that deduction because his reply was:


No thanks.

Mark Bradshaw


I laughed, oh God, I laughed. Then, I responded:


You idiot, I wasnt telling you to go read my ads before you spam them, I meant read the fucking ads in the first place before you spam them with your blanket letter ("repeatedly" referenced having received said blanket letter more than once), bc the terms of my project were clearly listed in the ad.

No wonder you work for yourself, youre stupid with no attention to detail and my 6 year-old has more common sense than you, and he's a boy, too.

Dont waste the bandwidth responding, I didnt read this before and I just happened to install an email client and saw it and figured "wtf, may as well" for entertainment value, but at this point you have outlasted your purpose and if you feel better, go ahead and send it, but it will not be read.

...So fucking Stupid. For God's sake, I hope you havent bred and replicated your defective and inferior genetic material.

STUPID! (But, seriously, not having any common sense is much worse than being stupid. Youre [apparantly] just cursed with both)



I dont know if he'll respond. I dont care. I wont read them. As I said, he's outlasted his purpose, which was apparantly just for entertainment value. (The subject of the last e-mail to him was, in fact: "Entertainment Value Has Been Exceeded.") If he truly graduated from UC Berkely, this is a simple and clear-cut case of yet another individual who has clearly been educated beyond their intelligence.

07.01.14 0054hrs

Yes, as evidenced in the following screen clipping, Mark *did* choose to waste valuable bandwidth and his not-so valuable time responding. But, also note, as promised, its unread:

(The timestamp is earlier than the end of the post describing the dialogue because I did a few things and created the pages for the emails and this one prior to checking my email.)

07.01.14 0110hrs