This letter was written by the same individual listed here who prompted my discovery and realization of The Flicker Effect, as well as the follow-up covered in that link.
Well, upon receiving my response to the email I sent (covered in afforementioned link,) he pretty much covered why even smart people tend to think Im "manic" or "smoking crack." Ive addressed issues raised as follows.
Additionally of significance are the last lines of my response, regarding his comment: "I feel better now that you've shown me this more focused version of the website," when the website is no more focused (actually there are more linjks and of a more "random" nature,) but whats changed is *his* awareness and understanding.
*Note: The e-mail is being featured in its entirety for illustrative purposes and to demonstrate the intelligence and articulateness of the observer making the conclusions. (In othe words, he's actually jumping to these conclusions mostly rationally and in a sensible way). This is under far more ideal circumstances than what I generally encounter. Also, he does a great job explaining how and why he got to where he did and demonstrates great examples Ive eluded to, such as the friends with bipolar hes basing his comparison on (bias,) etc... Which, as stated in the other email to him make sense and are valid based on his perceptions... but altogether and clinically unsound. Furthermore, counter-indicated.
Sent: 07.30.14 1201hrs
Good to hear from you. Lots of things going on here too.
I'm afraid you might have slightly misunderstood about my role as a medical experiment subject. I am not a medical oddity being misunderstood by the medical community, in fact I am valued highly for my extreme averageness, and have even learned to change my physiological readings in a small way in order to appear more average. I'm basically a factory for big pharma to test new drugs on, and I am fine with this, it pays pretty well, it gives me a lot of free time and flexible scheduling, I believe in western medicine and want to help it, and as someone with a science background I find the process interesting even though I'm passive observer.
I want to address some things you talked about in your past
So as far as your condition goes, I don't really have dogs in this fight. I'm familiar with the idea of people processing faster or slower thanks to this radiolab show. http://www.radiolab.org/story/91586-its-all-relative/
So I'm fine to take at face value what you are saying about yourself.
But I could understand why some people based on your writing might thing you were manic/smoking crack. And I'm no psychologist, and have no training and I'm just a random guy on the internet that wants to have sex with a woman with nice legs. I'm well aware that opinions are like assholes everyone has one and they all stink. But I've had some friends with manic episodes and I noticed some things, so I'm going to say some stuff anyway because why not?
So the sentence structure you used, especially in your CL ad had many long sentences, with multiple ideas and asides in them. They also made a lot of assumptions of general knowledge and some decent sized topic leaps . I'm not saying you need to write like Hemmingway to get people to pay attention to you, all short sentences make for boring writing. But reading a full page of of very dense writing is a way to make people skim what you are saying, it can also make it look like you have problems distilling your ideas, or manicy.
I'm no expert, but I have observed manic people tend to have
very extreme claims for themselves and plans for the future. Your initial
ad had some things that struck me, none of which by themselves would strike
me as odd, but all together seemed unusual.
First, there was your scans which was interesting and we discussed and seemed to say very nice things about you
Second, was you mentioned your IQ number. Now, I'm not 3 or 5 standard deviations away from normal like yourself, but I'm plenty smart. In middle school when the topic of IQ's was bandied around a lot, I looked into joining Mensa, because I could. And in my research, I learned that you have to pay 40$ a year to join Mensa (which is mainly why I didn't join Mensa), but more importantly I learned, in Mensa meetings you were just as likely to meet waitresses or taxi drivers as college professors and your IQ number really doesn't account for a while lot in terms of real life "success" however you want to define it. Most right thinking smart people know being IQ smart is helpful in figuring out puzzles faster and finding connections, but that is about it. It's much more important to have a strong drive or good people skills. The guy with the highest IQ ever recorded spent his life collecting bus transfer tickets, and writing a very boring book on the subject. Which is why IQ scores don't really get talked about much in the adult world, and besides if someone is smart you don't have to be told, you can tell just by listening to them.
Third, you had very ambitious exercise goals. I believe what you desired to be was "perfect." Which was a word that stuck out to me as unusual in this female self body hating world, ignoring the philosophical debate of "what is perfection, in a human form or anything else." A more common way to phrase this would be, "I'm really getting into exercise" or "I love yoga" While a lot of people might whisper to themselves that perfection is the goal, to get them to do that last rep, few would have the cojos to say it out loud to the world that is what they are striving for.
Fourth, In your ad you eluded to some mysterious important project you needed time and space to work on, instead of being simple and straightforward. "I have this fascinating condition, and I've already written a book about and now I want time to focus and write an autobiography of my struggles with idiot doctors" for instance.
Fifth, your website was informative, but it didn't have much of a focus, I couldn't really understand what it was for other than amusing your friends. But I got the feeling you really wanted more from it whether that be informing doctors/scientists, finding other people like you, or informing the public. All the random T-shirts with slogans on them and odd CL responses was confusing. I feel better now that you've shown me this more focused version of the website.
So...... Saying all this you might just right me off as a jerk,
which is your right, and probably what you don't need right now with all the
things that are going on, but I would encourage you to bounce it off a friend
or two, who knows you've already used my comments to improve your website
.But in the long run it doesn't really matter, I'm happy to take your word that you are who you say you are until I learn different. I guess I'm much more interested in that someone is functioning well in the place that they are, instead of what exactly they are.So last email you took me to task for not doing additional research on what I did not understand. This is completely justifiable critique I do try to learn about what is around me, I am going to plead an extenuating circumstances since I did read it in a CL ad. But I did try and gain more information, namely by asking you about it.
Sent: 07.30.14 1354hrs
So, I understand what youre saying and why you assembled your perceptions the way you did. There were so many points raised that I may take a more bullet-list strategy for this email, as opposed a lengthier, more narrative/explanatory dialogue.
1) While you are not a psychologist, I was a highly successful 4.0GPA Psych major (never took a single note, btw..) described by one of my professors as a "talented" student with a "brilliant" future and that my theories were "more modern than Watson & Scarr" (Nature/Nurture). So, that establishes my credentials in explaining that actually, manic individuals do not tend to generally speak in consistent, lengthy, complex yet uniform and consistent sentences. I write the way I write, because I write like I talk.. In very lengthy, complete thoughts. Manics are unfocused and all over the place. Inconsistent performers, etc..
1b) Delusions of grandeur (big thoughts/plans) can be associated with manic episodes, but are not consistently held beliefs or states when associated with a bipolar spectrum disorder; they can be continually present in the place of other disorders. However, considering everything Ive done, Ive done big.. By the time I was 20 I had travelled all over the country working with show horses and had a stallion under my care that was syndicated for $11.7 Million dollars, for example.. I only shoot for perfection, because I know Im capable of achieving it. I actually tend with my other ventures to focus on smaller more localized or home-based hobbies that support themselves.. Titan was conceived of as a much needed product/service that simply would support and bankroll everything else I wanted to be doing. And, to me, all this is no big deal. People shouldnt be thinking about or judging my projects as big/small/gradiose.. they are more relevant by subject and the scope or extent they are developed to is of no significance, whatsoever. For anyone. And, like I said, to me, its nothing. The only thing I care about doing "big" is my desire to make a difference in the world as it relates to current understanding of of certain areas surrounding neurological/behavioral health and interpersonal relationships.
1c) I never said anything about exercise. I not only dont exercise, I hate exercise, and due to my physical pain issues, cannot exercise. LOL, I cant even sit or lay in the same position for a continued period or time. Regarding the goal of being a "Monument of Human Perfection," that followed my comment that I was getting a chest reduction and a tummy-tuck, and not restructuring my facial structure, etc.. This was something you inferred (some hell-bent compulsion towards physical exertion) that had nothing to do with anything I said.
2) I dont really try to talk over peoples heads regarding whatever you mean by "assumptions of general knowledge." If its "general knowledge" as used/defined by you, Im sorry if its somehow outrageous or comes across as talking over peoples heads for assuming they are able to follow... general knowledge. Regarding the topic leaps, Im (as Ive said, all along, and all over my page) a highly diversified person. I have a lot of interests and skill-sets. I tend to become an expert in anything of interest, and have worked in a variety of different fields. Many of which (in all regards) seem diametrically opposed... Like changing my major from IT to Psych. But, they are all me. Having highly diversified interests does nt make on manic, and particularly as they are all explored and delved into so thoroughly and not merely flitted from topic-to-topic on with a skimmed interest and no real focus.. This is not only not consistent with mania.. Its opposite and counter-indicative.
3) Ive never started mentioning or ever even telling anyone my IQ, until recently. Even boyfriends. Since the issue of aptitude VS application has been addressed (and the greater importance of common sense,) this ones being skipped.
4) The project I was working on was at that time, just a project I was working on.. This revelation (Flicker-Effect) was just realized since you and I started talking. There was nothing mysterious about it, but considering you already think I was all over the place, are you really trying to tell me I should have listed my theories or thoughts regarding Neurological and Behavioral Science that I was pursuing, or that I was working on revising my autobiography, or whatever when according to you Im already all over the place, etc.. and they arent things the avg person would have followed or appreciated and in fact, many would have drawn the wrong conclusions of me by and made the wrong assumptions based on? ...Really? o_O
5) My website has only been being built for about a month. There was no focus. There was no plan. I put it up because I was tired of not having a page to go with the domain, if anyone looked up the domain, following getting an email. As the title (in the tab, HTML code and browser says) is: "Rhianna Brighten Kane's Home on the Net!" As such, it should be clear, this is my personal page. As such, it reflects anything of interest or that I want to put on it. It for a while was just a place to put up stories that were funny about the idiots I was encountering.. now, theres thoughts, theres the discovery of FE, theres "How To Take Care of Shit," I mean.. Its just me. Considering as we've established Im highly diversified.. obviously, it stands to reason that my PERSONAL page/website will be, as well. I dont know how it will unfold. It kind of chronicles my development and expansion and discovery of whatever, across the board... Its just a work in progress that will continue to unflod however it unfolds. ...Perfectly appropriate and to be expected of a PERSONAL website, and considering the web address is my initials and says it my home on the net... any expectation of it to be anything other than a personal page is fucking stupid. And, yes, its highly directed (as indicated) towards amusing anyone who may happen across it. And, the T-shirts have been popular when I did them, before.
5b) WIth the development of FE, I do want more of it to be of use to anyone (e.g. doctors, whatever,) but there is actually a duplicate-themed site on the same domain for the clinicians that has the case study being developed included, as well. And, a page for one of my doctors, alone. Im not so much worried about finding "people like me" because Ive given up on and readily accept there arent other "people like me." Plus, as since the activity on the site supports I tend to get interesting responses and behavior out of people and in real life, people tend to fixate or get obsessive with me... Particularly with Titan consideration, Ill likely be so public I really wont want anyone contacting me or being able to contact me via my site. Regarding this, you'll note, theres no contact link and the only contact on the site for me (at this point) is on the shirts link, and thats just until I finish building the store/payment gateway and then it will be removed. <Content Withheld>
"I feel better now that you've shown me this more
focused version of the website." -Tom
I havent shown you anything and the website is not more focused...
if anything, its more random and scattered now that its covering so much more...
the difference is, now you understand. '-) While I havent really "shown"
you anything, at all, all Ive done is clarify and point out misperceptions
that were not accurate, and while sound in how you came to them, were actually
counter-indicative of what you thought based by misinformation (e.g. symptoms
and traits of mania) and pieces of the puzzle you didnt put together on your
own, and stuff like your confusion over the QEEG issue, assumptions made (e.g.
my exercise obsession,).. etc. LOL. Youre different. The site's not; if so,
only more complex and dynamic. :-D
Well Done. A+
Youve actually helped my page twice, and this one may, as well. lol. keep it coming. :)
Just thought Id put this up here for all you people who thought I was still on crack.