There's no real way to set this one up. It just.. stands alone. A perfect monument to to human stupidity, to grossly over-generalize all the things that are wrong with the world and how we are raising our kids, today, wrapped-up in a big wad of phlegm and tied with a pretty, pink, bow..

For the sake of wanting the introductory line to make sense, I'd commented on a picture of a turtle on a friends FB. I didnt realize it was actually a story.. (Incidentally, the caption read: "Warning: Do Not Impulsively Buy A Turtle After Being Moved By Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." Also, the grammatacal errors in the headline for the article that so disturbingly (alarmingly!) illustrates the truly terrific </sarcasm> state of humanity, truly does punctuate the issue [no pun intended] - and coming from me, a lazy typist regarding her own personal website -but commenting regarding a published article meant to be taken seriously, regarding a serious issue and detailing such stupidity, is just really... Depressing).


Me: "you know.. I really need to sleep more. I didnt get the caption.. I got it was somehow a turtle that got rescued.. but I didnt realize it was a story.. lol. Ill go read it. *hmmmm@me*"
Me: "I think the problem was I didnt make the connection because I didnt think people were so fucking stupid they would literally go buy a turtle after watching a cartoon."

M.: "Oh god. You have no idea. Whenever there's some dumb movie with an animal."
M.: "Animal shelters do not take red eared sliders because they are considered an invasive species. So they just get dumped."

Me: "well I get that and am aware of it.. its the part about the kids not realizing that the turtle wasnt going to do flying side-kicks, the parents not telling the kids that turtles didnt *really* know karate, he blatant irresponsibility of how they are handling it when disappointment sets in.. it was THE TOTAL PICTURE. I mean, owls, exotic, beautiful, mystical, rare, ... novelty. I get that idiosyncratic-human-fuck-up.. but over turtles

Me: "Well, I knew they were all stupid, but I mean.. if your watching a cartoon and like.. a turtle is eating pizza, fighting bad guys and talking to giant rats and whatever the fuck the ninja turtles do, and you get to a pet store and the damn thing is just... sitting there... underwater.. sans pizza.. And, you know, the photo-realism is a tad better.. and theres no talking rat... at what point do you think the whole world is going to be transformed into Super-Ninja-Turtle-World? And, like.. how concerned are these parents about the inability to handle real-life and disappointment that they cant let them know that this turtle simply just ISNT LIKE the ninja turtles.. I mean, you know.. Santa.. ok. Turtles? We cant risk disillusioning our kids belief in cartoon characters?

M.:Well I dunno. I doubt kids really think they will do they shit but who knows. I don't like to overestimate the intelligence of your average American family. Idiocracy.
(Note, my comment regarding the turtles not doing "karate like in cartoons" was from the article. And, no, I did not think the kids actually thought the turtles would do karate, but the point that they knew they wouldnt... And still had to have the turtles [as kids will do] I mean.. I just simply cannot articulate how truly, the fact that this was an epidemic significant enough to have an article written about it... 1) Humanity has hit bottom 2) My eyes are now WIDE open and I realize the extent of the problem is far worse than I realized and I knew it was an evolutionary-cluster-fuck, to begin with).
M.: "I know. It boggles the mind"

Me: "Im glad I got my shit together when I did. The world needs me."


The Breakdown:

Everything thats fucked-up about this:

1) Your kids are watching too much tv/movies/media.

2) You are not teaching them the difference between fantasy and reality.

3) You are instead of taking the presented situation as an opportunity to explain the difference betwen fantasy and reality, are eagerly coddling them along or whatever and supporting your childs continued delusional perceptions - which may sound harsh, but remember - its created a problem so epidemic that there was a fucking article about it. Your little "oopsie" is officially making headlines.

4) When your child finds out the hard (read: irresponsible) way that the turtle isnt his cartoon hero, instead of teaching him how to responsponsibly handle a problem (are noting the lack of responsibility is kind of getting repetitive?) you are teaching him to just go turn it loose in the wild/throw it away. You are not re-housing the turtle, finding some other delusional youth who wants the turtle, or doing anything but what is (irresponsibly) convenient for you.

5) Youre affecting the ecosystem in a way nature hadnt intended. And, considering your "this little bit doesnt really matter and wont hurt anything" has led to the "We're-killing-the-world- but-people-are-making-so-much-money-off-it" energy-crisis that has determined changing things in an effort towards progressing our future, evolving and practicing earth-friendly energy resources, is not a viable option becvause a bad economy is worse than a dead planet (and how much money could be made by new money-holders investing in the new energy... which will only be more successful than the old energy has established the demand for since the human population [read:market] is only getting bigger...) AND we've already killed how many species of animals, not to mention flora? (...yes.. the turtles are thriving and overpopulating... but, if theres a mass explosion of a species, what its eating will be dramatically imapacted, as an additional example... in an equal and opposite proportion.. *I cant go on.*)

For God's sake, World's inhabitants: GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.


07.27.14 0856hrs Update:

Note link, Related to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Movie: Link to TMNT behind the scenes feature

The first thing that Ive been aware of for a while, mostly related to things Ive seen that my son watches (Yes, world, the RBK Progeny is upon you,) is that it is of course harder for kids to differentiate between whats real or make-believe when all the animation is geared towards making things LIFE-LIKE. I mean, kids are wired to most rapidly absorb and learn in their early years and they cant tell and dont know whats real even when 30 years ago we were dealing with cartoons of cats chasing mice with meat-cleavers and talking roosters. Look at the Transformers I used to watch (and loved, btw) with the Transformer with the boob-missles and all that.. but which at least looked not LIFE-LIKE and was therefore easier to differentiate and separate as not really alive or "real." Compare it to the transformers movies, shows and games of today... (Which, incidentally, my son loves, as well). :)

Well, now, the above article mentions that there is such an intense focus on the realism of the turtles for the new movie, they spent over a year developing the turtles PENISES, alone. They also go into depth about how much thought they put into the depth of the realism... In a steamy environment, they had to alter the Comper-Generated (CG) texture (what you see as the surface coloration/markings/or ..texture) to reflect that of "a wet scrotum."

Now, while this clearly establishes a major part of the problem, I have decided that regarding the above rant, the first step to take for parents who are struggling to explain the difference between make-believe and movies not being real and reality, is simply to go to the pet store, take a turtle, flip it up-side-down, and point out that turtles DONT EVEN HAVE PENISES.